SLAM HAG

I start a new job at HMV tomorrow.

I should’ve been asleep hours ago!

Being Scottish and living in England, I thought I’d take the opportunity to bore you all and clog your feed with not just a picture of my dinner. But a story about it too!

With it being St Andrew’s Day I thought I’d do something Scottish. But my oversight to defrost my Veggie Haggis (which is actually vegan) left me in a bit of a pickle come tea time. So I made STOVIES (veggie/vegan ones)!

For any of you unfortunate sods actually reading this and wondering “What the fuck are Stovies?!”, I’d suggest you Google it. But it won’t shed much light as there is no set recipe. Traditionally it was a stew like dish whipped up from leftovers; meat, potatoes, onions, stock etc. But as Wikipedia and all stovies dedicated websites (not even kidding) will tell you, it’s different in each region and recipes vary between families too.

SO, ANYWAY - I’m from Methil in The Kingdom Of Fife, which is on the east coast (muhfuckas) where we’d generally use mince (ground beef), potatoes (tatties/tawties if I was being cute and Scottish) and onions. Essentially it was a one pot version of that other Scottish classic; Mince and Tatties! There were a few wrong uns kicking about who used corned beef. But you’d generally find they were from another region or possibly just mental.

Now I have lost all momentum/direction with this story. But I will explain that my stovies now has soy mince, potatoes, onions, veg stock and other veg which I added to bulk it out, peas for some colour and I’ve thickened it with gravy granules. (With it being meatfree, it lacks the fats which would break the potatoes down to naturally thicken it. This happened so much in the stovies my Gran made when I was growing up that it generally ended up as some thick paste you could stand a spoon in.) The fact all the ingredients for mine were laying around in the fridge needing using means it was keeping with the original idea of the dish being made from leftovers.

Stovies aren’t much to look at. But they’re braw tae eat!

Taste even better the next day…

Here he is in all his gruesome (and heavily edited with stupid phone apps) glory.

I do realise that I live a life that most can only dream of. It can be fun, challenging, horrible, stressful, surreal and bizarre. But mostly it’s pretty sweet and full of many a tale to tell.

I am one lucky (and miserable) bitch. I need to start focussing on how lucky I am.

Rewatched LOTR: The Two Towers a few nights ago with the boys. It was most hilarious. “Why are the Orcs Cockney?” The internet has made a great film so much better.

Let’s never spend so much time apart again. Thank you for being brilliant.

Love always,

Michelle x

1. Going away with Dan. (Bestie.)
2. Going to get the Megabus from York. (Treats!)
3. Going to spend 4 nights sofa surfing. (Supposedly.)
4. Going to get tired of sofa surfing and pay for a hotel. (Inevitable.)
5. Going to see The Devin Townsend Project play Ki.
6. Going to watch RSJ support Will Haven……
7. Going to miss The Devin Townsend Project playing Addicted. (Gutted.)
8. Going to see The Devin Townsend Project play Deconstruction.
9. Going to go to The Doctor Who Experience. (FINALLY!)
10. Going to see The Devin Townsend Project play Ghost.
11. Going to get drunk every day. (Standard.)
12. Going to be broke upon my return. (Mentally. Physically. Financially.)

I should probably pack? How do I fit the next 5 days of my life in a backpack? AM I SUPPOSED TO ONLY TAKE ONE PAIR OF SHOES?! It’s fucking winter! How do I pack layers in a backpack?! Where will my laptop go?  First world problems.

Londoners! Hit me up for hangs <3

Today’s only goal is to get to a Starbucks and buy a Toffee Nut Soy Latte.

According to Starbucks Facebook  they’re 2 for 1 between 2pm and 5pm from today until Sunday.

Christmas has come early.

As much as you spy on my Tumblr through some misplaced jealousy/mentalness and steal my style…. I spy on yours and see you do it.

Please stop being a mental dickhead and I’ll stop using your page for my daily lulz, I’ll go back to laughing at fatties on Facebook or something.

Thanks.

Having two toddlers on foot meant the journey to the supermarket took longer than it took the Hobbits to get to Mordor*. Even our taking them to the park to tire them out in the hope they would hop back into their pushchair failed. The baby also failed to want to be in his pushchair and had to be carried most of the way. And lets not forget we had to go buy them new outfits after several accidents occured. Potty training is fun!

*Indicates a statement was perhaps a SLIGHT exageration.